Without attempting to cast all people who engage in BDSM fetish as either sick or healthy, since obviously some people can be very "sick" with respect to BDSM, how often is this a healthy endeavor - not a destructive one.

I don't think people are terribly conscious about the symbols of BDSM fetish and how this expresses something about them other than that they have "come out" and freed themselves to enjoy and expanded souped up relationship/sex life.

They do seem to love the jargon and protocol and like to fit into the establish structures and rituals. It's so formulaic as in the Story of O.

While vanilla society has rules of engagement, so to speak, it pales in comparison to what goes on in the BDSM world and kinky "relationships".

I see people who have abuse in their pasts surfacing frequently in the BDSM world and finding a means to work it out or come to terms with it.... perhaps. Once abused they have come to love pain in some sort of cathartic sense... or so they claim.

The most confusing are the xdressers and those who support / like them and those who enjoy feminizing and cuckholding. That seems like a sick behavior.

Sick is a loaded word. And normal is a vacuous one. But it's hard to see some of the behaviors as "healthy". Can cuckholding be a healthy "kink"?

I'm confused.

Can the same underlying causes / psychology be present in all or most xdressers, for example? Is there a "cause-effect" thing going on?

Why are there so many copy cat fetishes? Are these archetypes with broad social meanings?

So many of the roles in BDSM scenes are almost like cartoons - the maid, the nurse, adult baby, and the cop, military officer etc. It's almost like children at playing make believe. How are intelligent adults taking these roles so seriously?

This is not Shakespeare. It's more like sesame street to my eyes.